Wednesday, June 18, 2008

No Tomorrow

For a few weeks, I've been meaning to blog about new beginnings. I've moved into a new apartment and have taken a new position in the University. I wanted to talk about how sometimes we intend to do so many positive things when given the chance to "start over" but how, really, when it comes down to it, we slip into old habits really swiftly. For example, when I moved into a new apartment several years ago, I made a vow that my space would be simple and clean...a place to relax and unwind. What soon happened was I filled the space with stuff and it became as crowded and as overwhelming as all of the other spaces I'd lived in before.

This time is different. Three days after moving into my new place, my partner and I went on vacation. Three days into our vacation, I received a phone call that my perfect and beautiful 20 year old niece had been killed by a drunk driver. I was in shock. How could this be? She was so young...and she had the desire and the ability to change the world for the better. She was a social justice advocate and really aspired to "bring down the man".

Without going into a long diatribe replete with cliches, I've realized that there is no tomorrow. There is right now, and there is eternity. I can intend to keep my new apartment orderly and peaceful but intentions are nothing. It only counts if you DO IT.
I will return to dance classes this week. I will pick up my clothes tonight, I will tell my husband and my family that I love them right now because the opportunity to do so later may escape me.

Me niece is amazing in that, even in her absence, I've learned more from her than she could have ever learned from me.

In short- right now, I love all of you. I love all of you forever but we might not have another opportunity to say, say it...right now.