Reflection/Perception/Affection

I work in a field that requires me to offers me many opportunities to self reflect. Sometimes, it's a welcomed opportunity while other times, it's simply something to endure until lunch time or 5:00 PM, which ever comes first.

Today, I was asked to reflect on where I am from. Unfortunately, this opportunity for reflection came after an emotionally draining training session. What followed was a very raw and real experience during which I discovered some "disconnect" (a word that is desperately overused in my field) between who I am and who I think I am.

Confused? Let me get to how this pertains to this blog. Over the past thirty few years, I've been a person who has been defined (by me and, let's face it by others) as an overweight person or as a person trying to lose weight. Now, I'm finding myself in an exciting position as I've reached my weight goal and now, I'm needed to shift my perception of myself to include a healthy person who is maintaining her weight. This is extremely tough! I have no idea how to operate in the world as a person who is not, for lack of a better term, on a diet. Further, I don't know how to be a person who is satisfied, or, even better, happy, with her weight!

So, this week, I weighed in at Weight Watchers to see how my first week on "maintenance" went. I lost .4 pounds and was really struggling because I found myself to be disappointed. I secretly hoped to see a bigger loss, even though that's not where I'm at anymore!

I guess I really don't know what else to say about this except that I know a big part of moving towards a new self-image is to allow myself the same level of care that I'd give a friend in this situation. I wouldn't tell a friend who's met her weight goal that she should be disappointed in herself. I'd tell her to celebrate her successes and give herself some props!

So, I'm on a new journey and it's going to be difficult but, at least my workplace
makes me gives me the opportunity to have these "ah ha" moments. ;o).